Making Mistakes

I’ve been afraid to make mistakes and even more afraid to admit when I do

I’ve worked hard to maintain an appearance of perfection and of certainty

I’ve made sure that when I do not perform how I expect, or forget to do something, or cause someone harm I make sure I punish myself for it

As much as I hate to admit it, I am the “bad guy” in some people’s stories

That thought seriously makes me cringe, but it is the truth

I’ve been working so hard this past year to reframe and to remind myself is that as long as I am a human I will continue to make mistakes

That part won’t change

What will and can and what I’m focusing on changing is taking ownership

Forgiving the part of myself that made the mistake and doing what is necessary to understand why/ how it happened

As much as I want to shame, hide, and avoid that fact that I can and did something wrong I admit it

The admission is the hardest part for me

The potential that I won’t meet someone’s expectations of me

or even worse,

I will shatter the appearance that someone has created of who I am by actually being honest about who I am

Something I’m currently working on