Surrendering Control


So much appreciation and gratitude for the Allisa the angel of Roots Creative Co for creating such a beautiful site and for being an inspiration of following dreams!

I initially tried to do it all on my own but quickly realized I might’ve been a bit on the optimistic (or naive) side.  First lesson learned back in Florida- when to surrender control...

While I am proud of my ambition I admit that sometimes it is an obstacle.  I am working on recognizing when it changes from an accelerator to a deterrent and clearing the path of resistance. Oftentimes it is my pride that gets in the way.  The self inflicted obligation that I must do things on my own driven by the sole purpose of being able to say that I didn’t need help.  The reality is we all need help from time to time.  No one is ever able to accomplish things 100% on their own.  At some level there is an exchange.  Whether it is a friend making an important connection, an idea conceived based off of a passage in a book, or the sacrifice of a loved one made to support you while you.  We all accept help from others.  And that’s okay because we give it back, to that person, to others, and probably at some point even both.  By first acknowledging that it is our human nature to support one another we can begin the practice of giving ourselves permission to accept.  That will create the path of least resistance. 

There are two major mindset shifts that had to occur before I was able to  surrender control.  The first and most important was letting go of the scarcity mindset.  Trusting that there is enough to go around and that in order for me to receive what I am working towards it does not mean that others must lose. Instead of operating out of fear that by recruiting the assistance of someone else, in some way, shape or form, my reward would decrease.  That just because I wasn’t purely the creator my result would be inauthentic.  It is not all or nothing.  It is a balance.  Delegating tasks that aren’t my strengths created space and time for me to focus on those that are.  My creativity was able to flow without blockages caused by stress.  In fact, having someone else who didn’t quite understand what I was aiming for forced me to get clear on my direction.  She asked me valuable questions about my mission, vision, and for detailed descriptions of offerings that I wouldn’t have been as thorough with if I had done it on my own.  Having an outside perspective and source of accountability made me responsible for committing to how I wanted to represent myself.

The second mindset shift is often the first question I am asked when I tell people that I have outsourced my website development- “did you pay?”.  The answer is “of course”.  She devoted time, energy, and money into building her experience, of course I am paying her for her effort used to create my website.  It’s a commitment... to myself.  I will be honest, it took a little internal persuasion to convince myself I am worth it. By making this investment I proved to myself that I am serious about this and that I believe I can do it.

I was determined to do it all myself. I uprooted my life, packed all of my belongings into my car and drove down to settle into a new city where I knew my sister and friend from middle school.  Having no job lined up and a loose plan of teaching yoga I did just that.  I recognized the importance of having an online presence, especially in a city where I yet to have a network, so part of my plan was to build a website.  Luckily, there are so many hosting platforms that it wasn’t too difficult to begin and I spent a few days figuring out the back end to get it ready enough to publish.  I was really nervous.  Despite being satisfied with time and energy I put into learning how to do the basics it wasn’t quite up to the level I intended.  I forced myself to share it knowing I could continue to update it.  After the initial panic I was glad that I didn’t let my perfectionism hold me back.  I quickly realized how involved the process is and struggled to find the time I needed to dedicate to figuring out how to adjust the appearance to meet my standards.  I also, needed to spend my time making real life connections which were a little more important to get things rolling. Plus, I really need 8 hours of sleep at night.  S.O.S.

Luckily through the magic of social media I was connected to a beautiful human via a mutual friend.  She is extremely talented in branding and web design.  I agreed to meet her and honestly, had no intention of website help (my ego attaching to its pride of “doing it on my own”) but adored her photos so wanted to discuss collaborating that way.  After hearing her story and seeing her work I felt her authenticity.  She was sharing her talents to help others build their dreams because that’s what she loves to do.  Quickly, I changed my tune.  She made me realize that I was being a bit unrealistic for myself.  I would be much more successful by redistributing some of the pressure from me to someone else who is capable of doing a way better job in half the time.  So, I fired myself  I have not regretted this decision, even for a second.

I laugh at myself now because I absolutely bragged to my friends and family that I was going to do this on my own.  Learn web design on top of all of the other things that were involved with building my new life from ground up. I happily eat those words and say I have learned my lesson.  I hope to be a bit more self aware about recognizing when its time to surrender control and ask for help.



MindfulnessBri McComeskey