Movement and stillness. Opposite yet equal. In an ideal world.
Visualizing my life as a weight balance (think in terms of the Libra symbol) there is a clear unevenness between the two sides. Far from perfect symmetry. The movement side is overwhelmed, only a few inches of space separating it from the ground. Meanwhile stillness’s neglect is beginning to morph into acrophobia. Both yearning to return to their mutual origin, level.
I can’t recall a time where I wasn’t rushing from one thing to next. My calendar brimming with activists lined up. The only way I could pack in anymore is if I learn to teleport enabling me to cut out commute time, which often times I forget to factor in. That does not pair well with someone who’s motto is “if you’re not early you’re late”. I am not here to complain, I quite enjoy being busy. It gives me a sense of continual improvement and connection which brings me joy. Even as the activities begin to change as I grow and my interests evolve my schedule never seems to lighten. I find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to surrender to the spontaneity of what a new day had to offer.
Too often the honey bee, never the honey.
I am finally at a place in my life where I get to slow down. Taste the sweetness that having a fluid like structure affords. Undefined, I take the shape of each day as I am slowly and carefully poured. This low viscosity life style does activate some anxiety I can’t lie. I can feel it rising in the pit of my stomach, vibrating like the wings of my usual form, reminding me that I won’t be this way for much longer.
I know that soon enough the scales will tip back and my schedule will be full once again. Bills have to be paid that is true. It is expensive to be alive. I promise myself to take with me a lesson that being honey has taught me- to take my time and make sure that I enjoy the process of the things I choose to occupy my days. Instead of forcing myself to create a life shaped based off of how I believe it should look, I want to see what happens when I release control of my need to be solid and embrace fluidity. To try out slowing down and finding a balance between movement and stillness. Like honey does.